Déja vu

And here we go again.

Starting on Monday, we'll have a new lockdown.

No schools,  no horseriding lessons, no walks on the beach in the nearby town, no bike rides at the National Park...

Only online classes for the little ballerina, and work. A lot of work.

The thing that hurts more are the "lasts".

Yesterday little ballerina had her last day at school.

Today we had our last horseriding lesson and games in the park with other kids. 

Tomorrow, last visit to my parents.

Last year, it happened overnight.

This year, we have time to do things we love... one last time for we don't know how long. 

They say - until April 6th.

Last year too, it was supposed to last for three weeks. It lasted three months.

And this time, I feel like I don't have the energy to do this all again.

I realize... I have it much easier than other people. Still have jobs, husband and I. We have a little backyard, which is foundamental under these circumstances. We are all healthy, and so are our friends and relatives.

But still. I can't shake off this sadness.

I can't do this anymore.