Sunday, June 13, 2010

Forty two.

I have been pretty under the weather lately.
Can't seem to stop thinking about this time last year, when my ex and I were perfectly happy and satisfied with each other. I kept thinking how happy I was, all the things we were doing together, the holiday we were planning, an so on.
But then, suddenly, something happened.

I was talking on the phone with him (never a good idea, I know, but I am a human being too!), when, I don't know why, I asked him how old was his new girlfriend (which I have met by mistake-his mistake -last Tue when I went to pick up something I had left at his place).
And he said - about forty.
About forty? I said. How old exactly?

Fortytwo as in 42.
And I felt this strange, inappropriate, unexpected urge to laugh.
That's six whole years older than me - and him, for that matter.
So, I had been all time asking him and myself what she has I don't have, where she is better than me, and so on.
And here was the answer.
I was too young!!!

I am still laughing.

After dinner, I was chatting with a friend from HS.
-Cri, do you think I should laugh or cry?
-Laugh and listen to some tool and/or breaking benjamin..

Which is exactly what I did.
And you know what, suddenly I feel like I have six free years in my life
And I am planning what to do with them.
Going to Cri's concert at the end of June.
Going to Amsterdam in July.
And I think next is getting a motorcycle driving licence.
Than buying a bike (Honda Hornet, in black or dark grey).
And take Cri for a ride, even though he said he's scared. 
Then get on the bike and go see all the places my ex was too lazy to take me.

And I'll see you guys in six years.
Because may be, by then, a nice 36 years old who is about to kick his girlfriend out of his house will be waiting for me.

And I'll tell him to keep waiting.

Bonus Song of theDay - breaking benjamin:


Lori said...

I'm so sorry. I once had a boyfriend that I lived with for over 3 years. I thought we were going to get married someday, but I was wrong. He came home from work one day and informed me that I didn't need to move out right away but I needed to start looking. Years later, he married a girl who was 24 (6 years younger than me). It was terrible, but in the end it worked out. I'm now married to a great guy and have beautiful children.
Hang in there and have fun!!! :)

Leanna: said...

All I have to say is 'Hahaha' to him...what a fool! And honestly, count yourself lucky to be rid of him and open to new experiences!


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