Monday, May 25, 2009

Song of the day

I have been wanting to re-listen to this song for a couple of days. It's from 2-3 years ago, I think...

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Saturday night dinner

Yesterday I decided I wanted to have people for dinner.
So, I called my two sisters. And I had them, my brother in law (only one, the other had to work), little niece, and my lovely bf, of course.
And after a mozzarella and olives entree, a rich rice salad, my meatloaf and brother in law's grilled fish, arugola salad with small tomatoes, pineapple, icecream with whipped cream, coffee, and above all a wanderful bottle of white wine, we all went to bed very full and very happy!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Time for some love...

Today I am loving...
  • The girls at work, who are all so helpful even if they don't have to. I am working on something new, an analysis that requires an instrument I have never worked on, and I am learning so much from all of them!
  • Mom who goes to the farmer's market every Thu morning and buys me (and sister) fresh fruit and veggies. She even tailors the content of our bags: she gives zucchini to sis (I don't like them) and kiwis to me (sis doesn't like them, I do)!
  • The restaurant at work. We have free lunch every day, and it's usually a pretty good and filling lunch. I am not gaining weight only because I am walking so much more at work!
  • Granma. I think of her every day. I found the letters she wrote to me when I was in the US, and I can't read them without crying. She was so sweet and loving... Aunt, who was tidying up her house, told me she is going to give me back the letters I sent to granma in reply. I want to keep them all together.
  • New flowers for my balcony!
and lots, lots of other things!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Two bike rides.

Both started with a phone call with mom.
In Jan, I called her - she told me sister was going to have a C-section: her baby had a very very faint heartbeat.
We left immediately to go to the hospital. I remember riding the bike which Luca was driving, thinking a lot during the ride - what if something goes wrong for sis or for little niece? There was a demonstration, streets were closed, and we had to take the longest possible way to get there.
We entered the hospital, and mom said: Anastasia was born at 6 pm! After a while, they let us in, and I saw for the first time that little thing, and immediately fell in love. And I was so happy riding back home! I was thinking to all the toys and cute clothes I was going to buy for her!

Fri night, mom called me. She told granma had lost consciousness. They were taking her to an hospital in Rome, since it the town hospital, where she was, they couldn't do anything.
We rode the bike there, and I was already crying. But I had stopped when I got there. Aunt saw me and told me - granma is in a coma.
Then, we stayed there a lot of time, but it all seems so quick in my memory. Mom and aunt had to take the decision, wheher they should proceed with surgery or let her die as she was. I they took the best decision.
But after a while, a nurse called us, and told she had a cardiac arrest as they were preparing her for the surgery.
And as I was riding back home, and L was driving, I saw how beautiful Rome was, silent and empty under the full moon. And I remembered of all the times I thought I would love to take granma to see the St. Peter's Cahedral at night, but I never did.
And I remembered her, she was generous with all of us grand daughters. She was the happiest when she was with little Anastasia. She was a difficult woman, but very strong and extremely intelligent. She was wise and we learned a lot of things from her.

I am glad I got to see her before she died, and I am happy she is with granpa now.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Mad Thursday?

Yesterday started off in an usual way: I got a phone call from the University: they wanted to make sure which one was the mailing address they'll send a certified mail (I don't live in my "official" apartment, but I indicated its address on the application, while I wrote my real address on the envelope). Which means, that the certified mail they are going to send me is probably the score I got at the written part of their selection for a lab technician. If I have passed it, I'll soon have to take the oral exam. Ad I was so glad, thinking "if I have passed the written part, and will pass the oral too, I am quitting this job and going there".
Then, my two bosses came, at different times, several times, asking me to search for some specific papers (which I had already found and read in the last days) and telling them a brief synthesis. It's about something they needed to know for a meeting with a company which had asked them to produce a new formulation: they wanted me to find out the details of the process, possible problems, and whether that was doable or not.
Then, around 4, he-boss came asking me again for a synthesis. I told him everything, then said "if you need, I have the papers here" and he replied "no, thanks, but stick around". As 5 was approaching (we leave at 5) I thought before going I'd ask him if they needed me to stick around for a bit more: they had this meeting at 5, because the company we should be working for is located in another country. But no need for this: at 4:30 he told me I was going with them!

So we walked to the other building, and they introduced me to the company's (our) consultant, which is a close friend of the princess' family. We had a meeting between us, then a conference call with the other company, then they concluded we have to write a proposal.

I am really happy, and I'd be glad if they asked me to write the proposal, or review it after it's done (at least for our part).

So now I am already thinking: what if they call mr from University, and I am so much enjoying what I am doing that I again don't know what to do?
This is so ridiculous that it's almost funny..

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Thoughts and ramblings.

The last two days at work were a little better than last week. We were really busy, but the best part is that we are trying to do something none of the other two girls on this project has ever tried, so we are all new to that, and working together to figure out the best conditions.
I really cannot complain about my new colleagues. They are all extremely kind and helpful. Only, I feel left a bit out, because I just joined the group. It was really different with my ex-colleagues, since we all started together...

What really bothers me, is how this work situation is spilling over every other aspect of my life. I am always tired and slightly depressed, so when I get back home I don't really spend time talking with bf or doing things with him, even just a movie or a drink out. And I see he is really helpless: I know he'd like to do something for me, just doesn't know what - and I don't either, since this is something I have to get out from by myself.
I find he really tries to take good care of me. Last Fri it was holiday here, and we went top the cemetery to visit his mom. On our way back, he suggested we go to the beach, take a walk and have something to eat. I had been thinking of going to see the sea, it's like he had read my mind, and I loved it so much!

I started not caring about what I wear, which I think is a very bad sign... and eating perhaps a bit too much, but that may be because I am always standing or walking at work, so I need more food?

I want to resolve to start taking care of my look again, because only good things can come out of it. Then, may be bf and I should deliberately try to go out at least once during the week (excluding weekends, thank God we still do nice things on weekends).
I am really happy tomorrow I am seeing a friend after work. I really need to talk to someone. I just hope we don't end up doing some retail therapy during our little session!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Feeling down...

I have been feeling really down lately.
It's mainly because of the new job: it's extremely boring, there are days when I really have nothing to do, I don't even have a computer to read scientific papers, and I miss my ex-colleagues a lot.
I talked to one of them, some minutes ago, and she gave me some good suggestions.
I am mainly scared by how bad I am taking this whole story: I am having anxiety attaks at night, short breath, and a feeling of nausea. And I burst into tears from time to time.
I am gonna take some steps tomorrow to try to solve this situation. I hope things will get better...


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